Stepparents and stepchildren are brought together by choice and strengthened by love. Becoming a parent is one of the most beautiful things that could ever happen to you. However, add the word “step” into it and things can get complicated especially if it’s a second marriage. If you’re planning for second marriage matrimony where you and/or your future partner have kids, then creating a strong bond with your stepchildren is crucial. Generally, things can seem more comfortable when your stepchild is a toddler and much more complicated when it’s adult stepchildren. In this blog, we’re going to give you some important tips on how to establish an effective relationship so you can raise a stepchild and help your partner establish a relationship with your children. Establishing a relationship with your stepfamily – How you approach your stepchildren will depend on multiple factors like their age, gender, the circumstances in which you’ve now become a part of their family, etc. Ultimately your goal is to make them feel comfortable and loved. Here are a few tips to help you get started – Let the kids tell you what they want – If the child is young then bonding with them becomes fairly easy. However, if the children are adults or even preteens then it gets complicated. The kids already have a relationship with their birth parents that could affect your dynamic with them. But don’t be disheartened! If your kids are more reserved, take things slowly, don’t rush into it by forcing them to refer to you as mom/dad. Instead, they can give you a cool nickname or call you by your first name! Let the kids decide their pace. Start with friendship – It’s crucial for you to understand how difficult things must be for them. Taking on another parent because their parents are divorced or widowed is a hard pill to swallow. One that might take years to overcome. Start with friendship and let them know what your intentions are. Kids are intelligent so they can sense when things aren’t going well. Let them know that they could talk to you about anything. Slowly but surely the trust will be formed. Find out who they are, what they like – One of the best ways of bonding with children is by showing interest in things they like. If they’re interested in art, ask them to show you what they’ve made. Take them out to their favourite restaurant, or concert. Find activities that you can do together to create a special bond with your adult stepkids. Don't t try to force a relationship with them by faking interest in things they like as it may backfire! Let them have their alone time with their parent – Marriage and stepchildren are things that you and your partner will have to manage. If your partner took time to get remarried chances are they already have a working relationship with their children. A different dynamic which they share. If your stepchildren don’t get the alone time they used to have with their parent's things could get complicated. Let them know that their relationship with their parent won't go anywhere just because you’re in the picture now. It might also be best to not interfere in every aspect of their relationship. Make new traditions – When you become a step-family to bond with everyone, make sure you make new traditions. Go out for family dinners, take vacations, and watch a movie every weekend, there are many things you can do to make your new family feel more regular. This is also a great way of making sure everyone is a part of the family and feels included. Bring them to family functions – A family function is a great way of making everyone feel included. Make your stepkids a part of your family by taking them out for functions where they can interact with your family members and bond with them ultimately help you. Don’t hide yourself to make them shine – One of the most common things that parents often do is forget about themselves for their kids. Often to make your kids feel included parents neglect what they want which is one of the worst things that you can do. Don’t try to like things that you don’t and speak up when required. To conclude – One of the things that we find helpful is removing the word “step” when you refer to yourself or your child. Bonding with kids is tricky and will take time. Remember that you are setting up a family that’s bound to argue, fight and then make up. If you’re a single parent and want to get remarried again then do consider these above-mentioned points and register on Rishta Dobara for free.
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